Q & A “Who is that voice in your head?”

I made a promise to myself that the first time someone asks me a question for my blog, as long as it isn’t a spoiler, I will answer it. Great… Just great… Boy, do I LOVE open-ended questions. (Sarcasm) Ugh… My brain is going in all directions on this one. Here goes… The voice in my head is a moody lazy dreamer with high aspirations and randomly low expectations. In a lot of ways, LaTao, Sage, and Kain personify them.

For starters, the LaTao side of my head is aiming straight for the top. She expects that within five years, I’ll be on book six or seven with a million people waiting for book eight. She pushes me to make sure that if… I mean WHEN this becomes an animated show ten years from now, I’m going to see trick-or-treaters dressed like LaTao or a kid version of me dressed as Kain.

Sometimes the voice is Kain, focusing heavily on showing a strong look of confidence, all the while weighted by the expectations of loved ones. This voice constantly reminds me that I need to practice my craft. This voice is the one that won’t shut up when I’m doing something normal like watching TV, talking to a friend, or passing time on TikTok. “You know you can be writing right now.” I’ll be watching a movie and there he is, saying “You know you should be editing right now.” It doesn’t happen at stopping points… so I basically finish the activity unable to enjoy it fully because of the boulder of guilt I’m dragging behind me.

The weakest voice is Sage…. This is the voice that says “You’re doing great! Listen to your friends! Listen to your Beta Readers! Listen to all these loved ones telling you that what you’re doing is worth the time and effort! They believe in you! You should too!” There are many nights where this voice got me through, reminding me how many people already can’t wait to read the next books. The bad news is that this is the same voice that worries that I am depending too much on the people that are trying to be there for me. “Hey… even if you only sell a few thousand copies, that’s still a great achievement.”

Luckily, LaTao’s voice is the loudest. That’s the voice that will never let me give up. That’s the voice that keeps telling me “Amanda got you a shirt that says ‘Future Best Selling Author…’ so are you gonna make a liar out of her? NO! You got this! Get you another cup of coffee, fill a glass with water, turn your writing music on, and trust yourself! Let’s do this!”